- March 30, 2021
Reality Check
Lets be honest here. When many cisgender heterosexual people think of anal sex their reaction is disgust. Or that anal sex is “just something you see in porn. Nobody actually enjoys that!” Many more still conjure images they’ve seen in porn where helpless asses are unceremoniously pounded into the ground with not so much as a hint of foreplay or lube! Anal sex, a fetish, taboo sex that’s just not for normal people.
Well in the real world this is not really how awesome anal sex is had. And yes, in the real world anal sex is totally normal to have regardless of sex or orientation. It is not nearly as scary or unclean as our culture would have you believe it is. The taboo of anal sex, like most sexual health issues, comes from poor sex education. To break that taboo we need to bust a few myths that most people believe when they think about this type of sex.
The first myth about anal sex is that it’s inherently “messy” or “gross.” While it’s true that anal sex involves penetrating a part of the body that does some not particularly sexy things every once in awhile. That said, anal sex does not need to be messy. In fact it can be remarkably like vaginal sex if done right. Luckily this just takes a little bit of preparation and practice.
The second myth about anal sex is that, it hurts and is just a perversion. It’s not surprising that so many people think this because of the way most pornography portrays anal sex as an aggressive form of fantasy sex. Anal sex should not hurt when done properly. With lubrication and patience both partners can have mind blowing orgasms from this type of penetration! So myths be damned, how does one have a good butt session?
Let’s Get Started
While anal sex can be spontaneous, you’re generally better off planning a bit ahead of time for it so that the experience is more enjoyable. Try scheduling a day when anal is on the agenda. On this day when you’re planning to have a visitor in your butt, make sure that you use the bathroom an hour or so before the show starts. Eating healthy the day before and day of sex, incorporating some leafy greens in your diet, taking a fiber supplement, and keeping your alcohol intake low will help to make things move properly down there.
For peace of mind you may also want to try taking it one step further by using an anal douche before sex that day. A douche is a simple way to clean out the immediate area with water and will make the whole process very clean. This is by no means required to have great anal sex but for some this extra cleaning may give peace of mind. Feeling comfortable and confident during sex is the key to really being able to enjoy yourself and your partner.
Foreplay
There is no shortage of terrible, unrealistic pornography in the world. Of that we are sure. Most of the time foreplay is not even included and it’s generally why a lot of people have terrible sex in general. Foreplay is absolutely critical for awesome anal sex! Of course you can have anal sex without it but getting your bottom worked up and ready to be fucked is half the fun! Getting your brain and body aroused before attempting to penetrate will make your odds of success go way up! Some ideas for this kind of foreplay may include things like;
- Kissing.
- Teasing the ass.
- Nipple play.
- Mutual masturbation.
- Dirty talk!
Use Lube!
It’s hard to understate this one. This was something we learned the hard way, pun intended. We enjoyed anal sex at first with no extra lube and as a result the act occurred infrequently. We had to be already very horny and once Sweet Pea was wet enough, we just went for it. Don’t do this. It’s dumb and using lube will make anal sex absolutely amazing by comparison. This goes for almost any sex act as well. Lube is your friend, there is no shame in using it. It’s easy to apply and just makes everything that much better. We like to use a silicon based lube for anal sex because it will not dry out as fast as a water based lube. Unlike vaginal sex the ass is not self lubricating so this is definitely something to watch out for. As a top you should be monitoring how smoothly things are going by communicating. Don’t get too carried away if things start drying up. Pause if need be and liberally re-apply lube as needed, your bottom will thank you!
We’re going in…
A lot of things you see in the movies are not a particularly good idea to try in your daily life. I don’t hang off the side of a C-17 cargo plane while it’s taking off just because I saw Tom Cruise do it in a Mission Impossible movie. As lively as my imagination can be, in reality, it’s not going to go as well for me as it did for him. Likewise entering your partner’s ass at ramming speed with no lube is going to cause some relationship discourse.
What is more likely to go well is foreplay, lube, and a slow communicative entry between the cheeks. What we like to do is apply lube on both the cock (or dildo) and the ass first, then slowly enter. The entire time communicating about how the entry is going. This could be done by touch, eye contact, or verbally checking. If there is discomfort just back off a bit while your partner relaxes. Take your time with this. Repeat slow and steady pressure until you’re in and both ready to rock.
Once inside it can be a good idea to apply a bit more lube just to make sure things are comfortable. Go slow at first but once inside you can ramp up to more vigorous speeds. Just be careful not to slip out and always make sure your partner is still comfortable. This takes a bit of practice. If the cock comes slipping out, don’t fret. Just slowly reinsert the same way as before. Re-entry is much easier than the first entry.
Picking the right position can be important for having a successful start with anal sex. A position where the legs are bent towards your head, will make for the easiest anal insertion. When most people think of anal sex the more iconic doggy style position is what comes to mind. In our opinion though this is not really ideal for beginners because insertion can be a little bit tougher. What we think is better is actually a missionary position where the bottom raises their knees up towards their head. A pillow under the butt can be helpful to get the angle right for those who are not so limber. You can see us do this exact position in our make love not porn video A Comfy Afternoon!
If the top here has a real penis and things, ahem, come to a conclusion. Don’t be surprised if your partner needs to use the bathroom shortly afterwards. If not then don’t be afraid to communicate when you want to end anal or switch to something else. The goal does not need to be orgasm for any type of sex but this can be especially true if you’re experimenting with anal sex via toys. Just go with the flow and enjoy the experience, no pressure.
Safety
One thing to make sure of whenever you’re engaging in any kind of anal play is that once an object or cock is inserted into the butt, it shouldn’t then go in other parts of the body. No matter how much cleaning you do before hand there are bacteria that live in this space that can cause infection in other parts of the body like the vagina. Swapping between anal and vaginal sex is a good way to get an infection.
Of course there are ways to mitigate this issue. If you’re using your hands in the butt, keep one hand or finger dedicated to that purpose. Starting with vaginal sex and ending with anal is another way to go. If your cock goes in the butt consider cunnilingus or fellatio when your partner needs some more attention. Or even just taking a break in the action to clean up is perfectly fine. There are many variations to try and you can get quite creative with them.
If top and bottom are both penis owners the same principals apply. Being careful after penetration is always wise. It’s also a good idea, especially if you or your partner are non monogamous, to talk to your doctor about getting on a medication called PrEP. This will drastically reduce your chances of contracting HIV during anal sex or vaginal sex. Any general doctor should be able to prescribe this to you after receiving a negative HIV test and it should be covered by most insurance policies depending on your locale. Regular testing for STDs should always be part of your healthcare for non monogamous couples and play partners.
Practice makes perfect
Whenever you are trying something new in bed, things don’t always go to plan. Maybe the insertion didn’t feel right or the lube dried up too fast or there just wasn’t enough foreplay. That’s okay. Consider trying it again if you’re interested in anal sex. Remember to just have fun. This is about pleasure after all! When something goes wrong just roll with it. Don’t expect good sex to mean perfect sex, regardless of where you’re penetrating. If things are still not feeling right and you decide that anal sex is just not for you, well that’s okay too. Exploring your sexuality is also figuring out what you don’t like, not just what you do like.
If you’re wanting to see a real couple having real world anal sex consider checking out one of our videos on makelovenotporn.tv! A Butt Load of Fun is one of our most popular videos and in it you can see just how we have awesome anal sex. And you can too, it’s easy.